being ridiculously for each other


Come here, friend. Lean in really close. I want to say something to you as I look into your

eyes (because maybe we are losing the art of looking each other in the eyes).


I am so for you.


Me, Whitney Putnam, I am ridiculously for you. Your dreams – for them. Can I hear

about them? Will you tell me? Your sad places – I want to know them. In what ways can

I uphold you and your family? Can we pray right now? Your hopes and longings and

quiet heart places? I want to be your cheerleader. I want to champion you. You – yes,

you – I am for you.


Several nights ago, I lost it in front of my Michael. My pastor husband who already

carries all the burdens, stared at me and I could see his heart breaking, too. Tears

poured out as I revealed my hidden places to my husband. Ultimately, it all came out. I

finally whispered the words, “I feel like my church isn’t for me. I feel like I am carrying

around this great big dream with all of its parts, hidden in my God, and some days, I feel

like I am carrying it alone.”


This is not a good feeling, friends.


My husband and I had an honest conversation (highly recommended) and I told him why

I was feeling this way. Then I told him ways I needed him to champion me (again, highly

recommended because oddly enough, my husband is not a mind reader).

As I shared this conversation with a friend the next day, she said she had no idea. In fact

she said, “Whitney, it seems like you have it all together so that’s probably why no one

ever says anything.”


Head nod. But hear this: Perceptions are often not what they seem.


As I have dug deeper into this issue, I want you to know, I love my church. I love my

people. I love how we awkwardly rub shoulders and bump into each other. We are

humans, after all. My heart bursts for our little white church on a hill next to the

peacock farm.

But dear friends, if we love our church, we must love our people well. We must look

them in the eyes and care for them – and I’m not just talking about the ones in our

building, because bless our little hearts – God doesn’t care about our buildings. We are a

people bound by Jesus – this can be enough.

Let’s step into this place, Church. Everyone we meet: pastor, associate pastor, youth

pastor. Business man, school teacher, stay-at-home mom. No matter how they

outwardly are perceived, inwardly they have something they are wrestling with and

they might just want a pat on the back. Or a head nod. Or a hug. Maybe they want a



We need to get this right. Christians — we must be radically for each other and where

we are headed. We need to champion one another and the dreams we each hold. But

there are a few things we must understand if we are going to start being each other’s

biggest cheerleaders.



Girls, this is what gets us. May I just say that the cross wasn’t covered in blood for

caddiness and quiet darts being shot across the room? We are sisters — part of a

beautiful sisterhood across the country. Let’s lean in. Let’s go out to lunch with someone

we wouldn’t typically go eat with. Let’s be good listeners. And after listening, let’s make

sure we clap really loud when we see our friend move into her places. Loud, obnoxious,

cowbell claps, because if we don’t, the world will drown us out.



It’s hard to be honest when we are afraid someone won’t delicately hold our dreams.

It’s hard to spill our guts when someone might just spill and break our hearts. This is

where we must be brave. We can’t be for each other if we are not willing to live

authentically and genuinely. We have to reach in and speak to all of the places we are

wrestling through as women. We must go there. A dying world is watching how we treat

each other and it starts with being genuine humans.



If she looks like she has it all together, she doesn’t. Ask her to coffee. Look her in her

eyes. Make time for her. Tell her that you will be her friend. Then mean it and take

steps in that direction. What if we all took one friend in deeply? What if we made it our

mission to love her really well? Wouldn’t that be lovely?



If we all try to love each other well, we will be making great strides in the right direction.

Our land will be more beautiful. However, I will fail you. I will mess up, and you might

fall through the cracks of my life. This is why we must hold tight to one thing. God is

crazy for us. Let’s make sure John 3:16 never get old. The great God of the universe

wants to hold us in His arms. He sent His son to die so that we could be there.

Sweet church girls, a dying world is looking on to see how we treat each other. They are

peering into our windows, taking radical pokes and prods into our world. They are

wondering why they would even want to know Jesus and walk with Him. We get to

show them through the way we cheerlead each other. We get to show them dynamic

love by dynamically being for each other. Let’s look like this. Then people might want to

look like us.

At Imperfectly Brave, we believe this will start with prayer; gathering together, honestly

telling one another where we need God most, and then praying wildly. It’s not fancy.

None of it is fancy. There is no need to reinvent what God already gave us. Let’s just

step in.


We all have to start somewhere. So, let’s start with coffee. Wanna go? I am really good

at coffee and I want to become a better listener. Let’s do it. I’m ready to start clapping

for you.




Want more of this? Whitney Putnam believes that God is working wildly in Kansas City.

She believes that revival is coming and it will start on our knees. To be a part of this

pursuit, join us at Every woman that attends will

learn to step into her imperfectly brave life and be placed in a prayer group. The

outcome: a whole sisterhood gathered together praying for God to take back famous.

Whitney Putnam is the author and speaker of Imperfectly Brave. She is a dreamer (with

two precious little girls) and a visionary (with a pastor husband who is beyond

wonderful). They all live in Liberty (Yes! It’s the name of the city) and tend a small

church near a peacock farm. She loves spending time with God—and her laptop—on an

old sofa in her basement. Her hope, her prayer, her passion is that women everywhere

will find their imperfectly brave lives, rise up, and change the world.


Yes. You. Change the world.


For more information go to and

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