Somehow my kids and I got on the topic of going back in time…
Mom, if you could go back and be 25 again would you do it?
Hmmmm….While, yes, I would love to be 25 again, that question also feels more loaded than just being a different age. Because, in the past 10 years, I’ve lived a lot of life, had a lot of experiences, and grown deeply in my relationship with Jesus.
Think back 10 years ago.
What did life look like for you? Remember your relationships with God, your spouse, and your kids. Remember where you lived, what you did for fun, and what seemed so very challenging at the time.
Now, briefly relive all 10 years — the joys, the hardships, the good and the bad. Would you do it all again?! Or, was once enough?
I struggle a bit with this question.
These past 10 years have been defining years for us as a family — we have had 3 kids, lived in 3 states, and made so many precious friends. In these years, I struggled with my purpose as a stay-at-home-mom and if God was calling me to something else. I’ve grasped and clawed and yearned and chased hard after God — longing to know Him deeply. I’ve packed everything we owned, moved it across the country, and started life all over again — several times. I’ve been vulnerable and real with people I don’t know, all for the sake of making friends in a new place where we don’t know anyone.
Those years were hard. So, would I do them all over again? Maybe — if I had to or if I could pick and choose which moments to relive. But, instead, I would rather reflect on the ways God provided for us over the past 10 years. So often I can get caught up in the day-to-day concerns of life and forget how He showed up and moved mountains for us.
Even when it seems like God is so distant, He is really so close. He hasn’t changed…it’s us that changes. We distance ourselves from Him. We stop reading our Bibles, stop watching for how He is working, and we stop talking with Him.
He loves you. He is right there with you — no matter what you’re going through or if He feels close or distant.